I think everyone is searching for a dream life. Success, recognition, love, achievement, abundance. As long as it doesn't cause suffering. And we stray from real life. From one's real life.
Normal. From a very young age we're taught not to make mistakes, to get good grades, to do well. It's the price of love, of recognition, of security. So everyone puts strategies in place to cope, to adapt. From childhood. And we forget. We forget ourselves.
I too am a 'sweet madness' made manifest. I strayed from myself. For years. I chose the strategy of escape (into nature, into music, into science, into the skies). I wasn't really there. A big dreamer.
A small voice was telling me that I didn't belong.
I long felt out of place. I wanted to leave, far, far away. As a child, I wanted to go into space, to be «the first French astronaut and go to the moon.» As a teenager, I loved going out on my bike: I pedalled, I pedalled, as hard as I could. My first job allowed me to fulfil many dreams. To travel. To go far, ever further. I travelled around the planet. But a little voice told me I wasn't in the right place. And I got «gobbled up.» Like Zadig in the land of Voltaire, the world of work was not kind to me. It was hard, very confrontational. The fall. An initiation. Life.
And I found myself. On my inner planet. It took years. A long process. For someone as impatient as I am, it required time. How much time? 9 years? (with my discovery of tantra and biodynamic psychology). 22 years? (when I entered the working world). Or perhaps even… 48 years.
My dream life
Summer 2022 – I am 48 years old. For 11 years, I have been laying the foundations for my true life. My dream life. The one I desire with all my heart. «Bringing souls into the world»; «spiritualising matter»; spreading beauty and love into the hearts of Beings.
Woman, partner, mother, loving, therapist, workshop facilitator, I patiently and energetically prepare and lay the foundations for my dreams to become my reality. Since 2011: tantra and therapist initiation-training, workshop assistant, graduate of the biodynamic psychology school, opening my therapy practice, leading tantra workshops to share the beauty and vibrancy of this world. My dream life. My Life.
And I am on the verge of tipping over. 2 months, 3 months... and I'll cast off. After 25 years of being employed, during which the engineer by training was able to experience the substance, land, and embody herself. The foundations are there, solid. The transition can happen. It is my time. To continue. To continue living... my True Life.
On the Moon – BigFlo & Oli
»One day, I'd go to the moon, one day, I'd go And if I said I was sure, I'd be lying to you And I know that she sees me Because I see her too So I point at her And it becomes possible
One day, I will be old. I will have finally found my place. Because as much as I run, I can't catch up with time passing. One day, I will be a father. I will have a son to raise. And I will teach him that every mistake is a trial.
One day I'll be strong, I'll have fewer ants in my legs. When the world is still, Why am I the one who trembles?
One day, I'll be better, I know, I will be one day You can't quit the Earth You can just go around it
One day, I'll go to the moon, one day I'll go. And if I said I was sure, I'd be lying. And I know she sees me, because I see her too. So I point at her, and it becomes possible.
One day, I'll go mad, I'll have travelled the world, I'll have ticked off every item on my grand list of dreams.
One day, I'll be me I'll have owned all my mistakes I know I'm different, so in the end, I'm like the others
One day, I'll be wise, I'll have finished being a fool. I'll go and ask my enemies for forgiveness.
One day, I will be dead. I will have lived my life. A plaque with my name. A place in the clouds.
One day, I'll go to the moon, one day I'll go. And if I said I was sure, I'd be lying. And I know she sees me, because I see her too. So I point at her, and it becomes possible.
One day, I'll be myself I'll have found my smile I'll have sorted out my problems I'm fed up with running, fed up with running
One day, I'll go to the moon, one day I'll go. And if I said I was sure, I'd be lying. And I know she sees me, because I see her too. So I point at her, and it becomes possible.
One day, I'll go to the moon, one day I will go. And if I said I was sure, I'd be lying to you. And I know she sees me, because I see her too, so I point to her, and it becomes possible.»
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